Age shall not weary etc.

I am currently in the process of becoming a year older than I was previously.

While I spend most of my time becoming a year older than I was previously, it doesn't generally worry me a great deal. I'm still relatively young after all. But my next birthday will see me leap youthfully into my fourth decade, leaving behind me the dregs of my twenties to embrace older-agedom.

Now this in itself does not concern me, I'm quite looking forward to being a grown-up, but what I don't like is this business about being forced to take out private health insurance.

I was only vaguely aware that something like this existed (I wasn't yet thirty after all), but now I am approaching said age, I have started to poke around to find out (in the words of Marvin Gaye) what's going on. Needless to say, I don't like it. Not at all.

I'm a bolshie bastard. I was brought up by my parents to believe that the primary role of Government is to support the community that funds and elects it. This is something that shocks our neo-conservative cousins: "WTF poor people don't deserve anything/let's kill babies etc". I, on the other hand, believe in an accessible and socially equitable health care system funded wholly by Government funds and strongly supported by those in power (I think that pretty much sums up the whole left right thing perfectly).

So it will come as no surprise, dear readers, that the implementation of the "Lifetime Health Cover" legislation by JHo and his band of merry fuckwits men leaves me a little short of impressed.

Quoth the Department of Health & Ageing (DHAG - heh):

"Why have the new arrangements been introduced?

The Government is committed to ensuring that private health insurance remains affordable for people who have private health insurance."

That's right, the Government is committed to insuring that PRIVATE HEALTH INSURANCE remains affordable for people WHO HAVE PRIVATE HEALTH INSURANCE.

The Government's STATED AIM is to keep private health insurance cheaper for those who through either necessity or wealth, already have it.

And how do they intend to do this? Why by punishing those who don't have it of course. Not by directly subsidising private health care or putting more money into the public system, but by fining those filthy bolsheviks who have the temerity to suggest they shouldn't have to pay (additionally) for health care.

The moment I turn 30, the clock will be ticking.

"For each year over 30, a 2 per cent loading (cumulative) is added to the cost of the private health insurance premium up to a maximum of 70 per cent."

In other words, when I turn 30, if I don't have private health insurance, I must pay my premium, plus 2%. The following year, that goes up to 4%, then 6%, then 8% and so on UP TO 70%!!

"The loadings have meant that a person who delays joining until the age of 40 has had to pay 20 per cent more than someone who joined at the aged of 30."

Not only that, but this:

"Currently, LHC loadings can never be removed."

Never. Be. Removed.

But wait, there's more!

"A member who leaves private health cover and then returns in the future will pay the same LHC loading as a member who has never held private hospital insurance."

So if I have private health insurance for 20 years and then stop for a year, because, oh I don't know, they've done nothing for me in all that time, and then I get terminally ill (isn't that always the way) and require extremely expensive palliative care and re-join a private health insurer, I will have to pay 40% on top of my premium!

I want to know what GENIUS in private health insurance came up with this idea. Seriously. Whoever came up with this is actually brilliant. What I can't believe is that the Federal Government has AGREED WITH THEM and instead of putting money towards public health, has created a Future Fund (whatever the fuck that is) with an initial start-up of $18 Billion.

18. Billion. Doll. Ars.

So well done Howard Government, that's one more feather in the cap of why-I-wish-you'd-fuck-off-and-die.

I just... I weep for the future fund.