Video Dogs is right
Those who live in the vicinity of Carlton in Melbourne may be familiar with a little independent video hire place on Faraday St, just down from Brunetti called Video Dogs.
It's a nice idea. A couple of small dark rooms packed to the rafters with videos and DVDs, away from the white fluorescent light and rampant commercialism of Blockbuster, a potential sanctuary from the cold Melbourne winter outside. One of the only video hire places in the area, they attract the locals - students, yuppies, retirees - they're on a pretty good wicket as far as captive audiences go. They've got a great range and their prices are reasonable.
The only problem is that they are a pack of cunts.
I apologise to my more delicate readers, but you haven't met surly, disinterested, morally-superior service until you've had the joy of trying to deal with these people.
I've lived in the Carlton area for over five years and given the monopoly this place has on location and convenience, I have experienced their particular brand of assholery many times. Yet on each occasion, as the months pass since my last visit, I write my feelings of loathing off as exaggeration - they can't really be as bad as I seem to remember, maybe the person working was just having a bad day. Hey I've worked in retail - I know how it can be.
But even with this fairly generous approach in mind, I am still shocked by the way they treat their customers every time I walk into the place.
Not too long ago, Snooze and I planned a night in front of the tele to educate Jelly, Snaz, Peter and the Redhead on the delights of Camp, Todd Graff's delightful 2003 teenage drama/comedy about American musical theatre nerds. A quick check on the phone by Snooze of the local video stores to find a copy came up blank - leading inevitably, and somewhat ominously to Video Dogs.
VD: *sounding bored* Carlton Video Dogs
Snooze: Hi, I was wondering if you have a copy of "Camp" available.
VD: ...
...
...
Snooze: ...um, it's 2003...
VD: ...
...
...
Snooze: ...directed by Todd Graff (/WTF!?)
VD: *snapping* I'm just looking it up *heavy sigh*
...
...
...
Yes we do
Snooze: Great! Is it... *phone hangs up*
Being geographically closer, I was delegated the task of going down after work to collect said copy of "Camp".
Conscious of their reputation and eager to avoid being treated like a small piece of poo, I enter with my nicest face on, in the style of Ms Fits at the Chemist trying not to come across as a drug-addled whore. A quick search of the shelves and there it is, Todd Graff's delightful 2003 teenage drama/comedy about American musical theatre nerds.
Jauntily I pluck it from the shelf and spring to the service counter, beaming like a borderline-retarded golden retriever.
Service Girl is two feet from me, leaning across to her friend and receiving a lesson in how to use her mobile phone.
...
...
...
*Mobile phone lesson continues*
...
...
...
*Golden retriever smile fading. Desperately trying to resist the urge to tap fingers on the counter*
...
...
...
The conversation appears to be winding up. Goodbyes are said, friend walks out the door. Service Girl fiddles with her phone for a moment or two more, then drags her eyes up to me
SG: sorry about that *couldn't be less sincere*
Me: That's OK, *retrieving golden smile* these things...
*Friend sticks head around corner*
Friend: Did I tell you my Dad got married!?
SG: *turning away* No!! OMG etc.
...
...
...
*Oh for fucks sake*
...
...
...
*Finally friend leaves*
SG: *wanders over to register* *pokes at keyboard* *heavy sigh* Name?
Me: Item
SG: *taps keyboard* Password?
Me: Ooh, it's been a while since I've used it, but I think it's...Bunty? [don't ask] but I'm not completely sure.
SG: *taps keyboard* *no response to password answer* Address?
Me: *thinking I've got the password wrong* *aware that the address she is using to confirm who I am is outdated* Oh, I've moved, I think you guys probably have 123 Carlton St. Carlton.
SG: *exasperated sigh* *rolls eyes* No [dickhead!]. What's your new address?
Me: *confused* *wondering what happened to the password question* Ah, well 789 Fitzroy St, Fitzroy.
SG: *taps keyboard* Have you got a new credit card?
Me: New in what sense exactly?
SG: *barely contained contempt* The one we have has expired.
Me: *rummaging through wallet* Here you go.
SG: *glances at card* Have you got another one?
Me *WTF!?* Um, yes, here you are.
SG: *takes DVD box from me* *examines box* Camp?
Me: ...yes.
SG: *tsk-ing* I think someone actually has this on hold
Me: *OMFG!!!!!* Oh really, it may have been my girlfriend, she rang earlier today?
SG: *looks doubtful* What was her name?
Me: Snooze
SG: Nope. That wasn't it.
Now let me pause here briefly to point out that when Snooze actually rang and discovered the DVD was in, she was in the process of asking the person on the phone (who turned out to be Service Girl) if she could put a hold on it when they abruptly hung up on her. She didn't even have a chance to put it on hold. Service Girl is just being an officious tosser.
SG: *looks through reserve book* Oh no, it's free after all.
Quell surprise!
The rest of the transaction goes through without any major hitches and I finally release myself from their evil clutches. I glance down at the temporary shop case holding the DVD, and that's when I remember why I despise them so entirely.
The staff at Video Dogs are frequently pricks. They're generally bored, unhelpful, rude and dismissive.
But.
None of this comes as a surprise when you look at their DVD casings.
A more condescending, patronising and morally-superior credo I challenge anyone to find.
I present to you, the Video Dogs manifesto. Click on the image to read.
So beware, all you inner-northern Melbournites, of the Video Dogs manifest and let this be a warning to you: they don't have that name for nothing.
It's a nice idea. A couple of small dark rooms packed to the rafters with videos and DVDs, away from the white fluorescent light and rampant commercialism of Blockbuster, a potential sanctuary from the cold Melbourne winter outside. One of the only video hire places in the area, they attract the locals - students, yuppies, retirees - they're on a pretty good wicket as far as captive audiences go. They've got a great range and their prices are reasonable.
The only problem is that they are a pack of cunts.
I apologise to my more delicate readers, but you haven't met surly, disinterested, morally-superior service until you've had the joy of trying to deal with these people.
I've lived in the Carlton area for over five years and given the monopoly this place has on location and convenience, I have experienced their particular brand of assholery many times. Yet on each occasion, as the months pass since my last visit, I write my feelings of loathing off as exaggeration - they can't really be as bad as I seem to remember, maybe the person working was just having a bad day. Hey I've worked in retail - I know how it can be.
But even with this fairly generous approach in mind, I am still shocked by the way they treat their customers every time I walk into the place.
Not too long ago, Snooze and I planned a night in front of the tele to educate Jelly, Snaz, Peter and the Redhead on the delights of Camp, Todd Graff's delightful 2003 teenage drama/comedy about American musical theatre nerds. A quick check on the phone by Snooze of the local video stores to find a copy came up blank - leading inevitably, and somewhat ominously to Video Dogs.
VD: *sounding bored* Carlton Video Dogs
Snooze: Hi, I was wondering if you have a copy of "Camp" available.
VD: ...
...
...
Snooze: ...um, it's 2003...
VD: ...
...
...
Snooze: ...directed by Todd Graff (/WTF!?)
VD: *snapping* I'm just looking it up *heavy sigh*
...
...
...
Yes we do
Snooze: Great! Is it... *phone hangs up*
Being geographically closer, I was delegated the task of going down after work to collect said copy of "Camp".
Conscious of their reputation and eager to avoid being treated like a small piece of poo, I enter with my nicest face on, in the style of Ms Fits at the Chemist trying not to come across as a drug-addled whore. A quick search of the shelves and there it is, Todd Graff's delightful 2003 teenage drama/comedy about American musical theatre nerds.
Jauntily I pluck it from the shelf and spring to the service counter, beaming like a borderline-retarded golden retriever.
Service Girl is two feet from me, leaning across to her friend and receiving a lesson in how to use her mobile phone.
...
...
...
*Mobile phone lesson continues*
...
...
...
*Golden retriever smile fading. Desperately trying to resist the urge to tap fingers on the counter*
...
...
...
The conversation appears to be winding up. Goodbyes are said, friend walks out the door. Service Girl fiddles with her phone for a moment or two more, then drags her eyes up to me
SG: sorry about that *couldn't be less sincere*
Me: That's OK, *retrieving golden smile* these things...
*Friend sticks head around corner*
Friend: Did I tell you my Dad got married!?
SG: *turning away* No!! OMG etc.
...
...
...
*Oh for fucks sake*
...
...
...
*Finally friend leaves*
SG: *wanders over to register* *pokes at keyboard* *heavy sigh* Name?
Me: Item
SG: *taps keyboard* Password?
Me: Ooh, it's been a while since I've used it, but I think it's...Bunty? [don't ask] but I'm not completely sure.
SG: *taps keyboard* *no response to password answer* Address?
Me: *thinking I've got the password wrong* *aware that the address she is using to confirm who I am is outdated* Oh, I've moved, I think you guys probably have 123 Carlton St. Carlton.
SG: *exasperated sigh* *rolls eyes* No [dickhead!]. What's your new address?
Me: *confused* *wondering what happened to the password question* Ah, well 789 Fitzroy St, Fitzroy.
SG: *taps keyboard* Have you got a new credit card?
Me: New in what sense exactly?
SG: *barely contained contempt* The one we have has expired.
Me: *rummaging through wallet* Here you go.
SG: *glances at card* Have you got another one?
Me *WTF!?* Um, yes, here you are.
SG: *takes DVD box from me* *examines box* Camp?
Me: ...yes.
SG: *tsk-ing* I think someone actually has this on hold
Me: *OMFG!!!!!* Oh really, it may have been my girlfriend, she rang earlier today?
SG: *looks doubtful* What was her name?
Me: Snooze
SG: Nope. That wasn't it.
Now let me pause here briefly to point out that when Snooze actually rang and discovered the DVD was in, she was in the process of asking the person on the phone (who turned out to be Service Girl) if she could put a hold on it when they abruptly hung up on her. She didn't even have a chance to put it on hold. Service Girl is just being an officious tosser.
SG: *looks through reserve book* Oh no, it's free after all.
Quell surprise!
The rest of the transaction goes through without any major hitches and I finally release myself from their evil clutches. I glance down at the temporary shop case holding the DVD, and that's when I remember why I despise them so entirely.
The staff at Video Dogs are frequently pricks. They're generally bored, unhelpful, rude and dismissive.
But.
None of this comes as a surprise when you look at their DVD casings.
A more condescending, patronising and morally-superior credo I challenge anyone to find.
I present to you, the Video Dogs manifesto. Click on the image to read.
So beware, all you inner-northern Melbournites, of the Video Dogs manifest and let this be a warning to you: they don't have that name for nothing.
*this has been a community service announcement*
ReplyDeleteThey're just detestable.
ReplyDeleteI would go on some sort of half-arsed crusade to get people to boycott Video Dogs if I thought anyone would listen, but at the same time - it's just so convenient!
I really feel you've been quite unfair. CVD are simply trying to lift the tone of Lygon St to a more sophisticated "New York" style where consumers should be grateful for the air given free to breathe when they walk into a shop. It is an awesome privilege to be allowed to pay for items, or (heaven forbid) remove them from a shop!
ReplyDeleteI have to agree. It's obviously too much effort for them to show some common courtesy or actually make eye contact with you. I've (foolishly) tried to be friendly to the staff and all you get in return is silence. I'm over it though... best advice is to get in and out of there with as little interaction with the staff as possible. Pitty, because the store itself is great.
ReplyDeletehello i found this post while looking up video dogs' phone number. so very right. yet i still go there. sigh. there's a store in the city on elizabeth st called video inferno. great stuff but the guy behind the counter is the rudest whack job i've ever met.
ReplyDeletecunch of bunts
what i think is weird is that an entire group of staff, with or without each other, have learnt collectively to be awful. is it a prerequisite to be awful in order ot get hired there? and surely, like in any workplace environment, when the boss is away you betray his wishes. but no, with or without colleagues, they are consistently awful.
ReplyDeleteFor the most part I agree. They are arrogant wankers. There is one nice chap there however, not sure of his name. We hired a copy of "the office", in good faith from them, only to find that it had been pirated from BBC TV, and was inferior. When we commented to them on this, the guy said, something like, "yes, aren't we lucky."
ReplyDeleteThey also asked for a $50 deposit, when I wanted to quit the store, they said that I could only reclaim my deposit between 11 and 2pm on work days. how convenient.
Wankers
http://www.unite.org.au/2008/08/18/video-dogs-back-pays-workers-over-4800/
ReplyDeletehttp://www.unite.org.au/2008/07/15/young-workers-small-business-the-arts/
I lived nearby when Video Dogs opened in 2000 and when I commented (whilst returning according to 'their' stipulation) that it was difficult and unusal to return an item by the required time of 5pm, was told by the friendliest staff member I have encountered there that, this was a 'guide' so people didn't return late in the evening. Fine. Soon after I returned items at 5.45pm: the employee stopped serving the customer he was serving, to turn and lecture me at length on their return policy. I informed him of the conversation I had had with the other staff member and pointed out that perhaps they could use the policy of EVERY OTHER VIDEO SHOP IN THE WORLD as some sort of guide for their return policy. Unless you wish to be stopped and admonished, you need to perhaps request to leave work early; "I have some videos I need to return".
ReplyDeleteVideo Dogs have created their own kingdom, with its own rules with regard to reasonable retail practice, customer relations and employment standards and also have a unique set of principles on their handling and access to customers credit card details. Ridiculous. Never go there, no matter how convenient.
Wow, I work there and I swear I'm a nice guy.....oh well :-)
ReplyDelete...in fact, I'm at work right now...
and joe. youre more than likely ignoring a customer to write that :)
ReplyDeletebut i know youre awesome and i'd rent a low quality dvd off you anytime!! now just to get to melbourne...
Is that Dom who I went to high school with? Damn internet weirding me out....oh wait, facebook....links...actually it all makes perfect sense...
ReplyDelete