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A BOOZED Glenn Milne pushing Stephen Mayne off the stage at last night's Walkley Awards. Pure Gold! In other news, that insufferable "net star" Sandi Thom - you know the one responsible for "I Wish I Was A Punk Rocker" - has apparently been in Melbourne and was to play a "secret gig" until only 25 people showed up and it got cancelled. Ha! (I know I shouldn't laugh, but really, that song is infuriating) And in further news, it appears that Labor's very own gracefully aging lesbian look-alike Kevin "The Animal" Rudd is going to challenge the Beazer after all. What a shock! Frankly, anyone or anything that can get rid of that droning policy vacuum of a national leader should be heartily applauded. *takes off angry boots* Separated at birth? Labor's Kevin Rudd Comedian Sue-Ann Post I'm just saying.

I’ve been too distracted to comment on the Victorian election to date and that’s saying something, ‘cos I loves me a democratic process. So I figure it's time to get all political on yo asses. There were no enormous surprises. No unexpected seats were lost, the swings were insubstantial. All-in-all a pretty mediocre end to what was a remarkably low-key campaign. But the one thing that caught my attention was the behaviour of the "Left" parties towards each other. The clash between Labor and the Greens has really been quite fascinating. I was brought up in a staunchly Labor family. We have photos of my parents in their 30s bedecked in "It's Time" t-shirts and emblazoned with face-sized Gough badges. My childhood front garden often bore the ALP placards in the lead up to elections, both State and Federal, despite our location placing us firmly in Liberal strongholds. But despite the obvious political leanings, what lay at its heart was not loyalty to the...

I wasn't excited about the Ashes until the first ball was bowled. Literally. Anyway, watching the cricket on the intermawebs at work has just reminded me why I like it so much. The guys who write the running commentary are highly amusing. 126.2 Hoggard to Ponting, no run, Ponting takes a big stride forward but leaves it alone, like the big-striding-leaver that he is 125.4 Giles to Ponting, no run, "ooooh yes Gilo" says Jones, for no apparent reason as it was perfectly defended GAH!! As I'm typing this, Punter's just been dismissed for 196. Bugger! I jinxed it.

I have often pondered this very question myself, with those exact quotation marks and selective use of capitals. The "Jo" I am referring to is, of course, none other than Jo Silvagni nee Bailey. Do I really have to tell you? Currently host of the earth-shatteringly brilliant and not-at-all infomercial Melbourne Weekender on Channel 7 in Melbourne, "Jo" is pretty much the closest thing the world has to a living goddess. Apparently. A quick check of the interblag returns numerous entries on "Jo", but none so informative, emphatic and downright authoritative than the Yahoo "Jo Bailey" Group website . Jo is without a doubt the most beautiful woman to have ever lived. See. Her dazzling looks rival past beauties "Grace Kelly", "Audrey Hepburn" or current beauties "Catherine Zeta Jones" or "Brooke Burke". Who is Brooke Burke!? Jo has the spunk, sensuality and fire of a "Katherine Hepburn", "Maril...

There's something magic about taking photos, and digital cameras make the job so much easier. Though there is nothing quite like the thrill of taking a shot with slide film and discovering two months later that it's come out perfectly, digital photography can provide instant gratification and when it goes right the results are no less spectacular or satisfying. Being a photography hack I helped out last night with some promotional shots we've prepared for the show and in a sea of average snaps, this one came through just beautifully.

Historic Presidential speech "tag clouds" . [ Via ]

I'm sorry, what was that? I missed it. Oh I see, sure. ... Um, look I know we just went over this, but what did you just say again? Oh, yep yep, sweet. ... So it was... Ah, yes, that's right - the items. Of course. I'll get onto it straight away. There was a line used by a reviewer not so long ago in relation to a new play by a notable young Melbourne playwright that went something along the lines of: "if you've ever wondered what it's like to watch Lally Katz eat her own brain then see this show". I think I'm half way through my own brain at this point and I've just reached the productivity centre. I'm pretty much a productivity free zone right at the moment. Fortunately, there's not too much on at work, so it's not as disastrous as it could easily be, but still... Somewhat predictably, it's the show that's weighing on my mind (and it seems I'm not the only one" ). Last time we visited this topic I was being a...

Dear English Speaking World, Please kindly refrain from using the word "whilst". It shits me. "While" is perfectly adequate in every situation. It is never necessary to use whilst under any circumstances. Ever. Whilst is for people who like to sound officious. Whilst is for people who want to sound cleverer than they are. Won't somebody think of the children etc??!! I won't have it. NO MORE!! And while you're at it, get rid of "bumpkin" too. Sincerely, Tom.

*Yawn* Anyone else over this week? [ via ] Roll on 5 o'clock. But just to tide you over...

It soothes my filthy Leftist soul to see what has happened in the US over the last two days. It's been a rough few years for those of us who refuse to bay for the blood of random Arabs, for those of us who feel that creating a war under false pretences is a wrong thing to do, for those of us who think that the First World should lead by example on issues of judicial process and transparency, on the environment and social policy. Not that I'm convinced for a moment that all this will now come to fruition. The US has dug itself an enormous hole that it now has to start climbing out of and this country is still led by the rat-cunning of JHo and the Australian pater-cons. But for the first time in many years there is a flicker from the Light on the Hill. A reminder that politics is about swings and roundabouts and that however much democracy can seem to kick you in the guts, it all evens out in the wash. The question now will be how this is really going to change things in the ...

For those of you not sufficiently up with the coolsie political "lingo", the GOP is the US Republican Party (apparently stands for the Grand Old Party...WTFBBQ!?? etc). Anyhoo, with voting in the mid-terms (almost?) complete, it seems that there's been some trouble with some of the polling booths. Surprise sur-freakin-prise. Fortunately, the folks at Wonkette seem to have discovered the cause. COME ON USofA!! YOU CAN DO IT!! *crosses fingers* UPDATE: Early reports from CNN Exit Polls have the Democrats taking the Senate! Eek! COME ON!! [ Via ] UPDATED UPDATE: Dems have the House. Three seats to come in for the Senate. If the Dems pick each of them up, they'll get both houses. According to the NY Times: Montana: 55% counted, Dems (51.5%), Reps (46.2%) Missouri: 81% counted, Dems (48.8%), Reps (48.0%) Virginia: 99.7% counted, Dems (49.5%), Reps (49.4%) Go! Why am I blogging this? Seriously. It's not like you can't look it up yourself and that it wil...

Mrs Guts , Moi, Dr Mike and CC leading the charge at this thing . Look at that strut! Hott as.

Twelve years ago today at 12pm, my Mum passed away in the Peter Mac Cancer Hospital in East Melbourne. I don’t really have much to say on the matter, but every year I make an effort to mark the occasion in some way or another. Of course losing a parent is an horrendous thing to have to deal with, but time does wonders. The tearing grief has given way to a gentle, lingering space. I just wish she could have met the people I share my life with these days, to sit back and have some beers, to talk about nothing, to see who I’ve become and where I am. That’s all.