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Happy Friday kidlets! I haven't come across any real gems this week so I thought I'd revert to some old favourites. First of all some more of those tightly-bejeaned lads from OkGo. Cheapest. Video clip. Ever. I particularly enjoy the Matrix-style moves halfway through. And secondly, just because I loves me a funny cat - more funny cats. Enjoy the weather while it lasts - Bureau reckons it's going to turn nasty...

How good is the weather!? Because it's so sunny and pleasant I'm not going to spend time bloggerising. Instead, here are some interesting things: A newish blog in town by foody friends of ours, Happy Guts is dedicated to reviewing restaurants in Melbourne and worth a browse. Mr Lefty and his enormous brain hammers home his point about the Red Cross missile scandal in Lebanon and the response of blancmange-face Downer and his Righty bat-winged monkies. I'm going to be in a show with these people. I anticipate it will be fun and I insist you all attend. Now GO OUTSIDE ALL OF YOU!

That is all. Oh OK. You can make your own church sign here .

On Saturday morning, a 77 year old man was killed after being hit by a cyclist on Beach Rd in Mentone. That someone was killed walking in front of a bicycle is not surprising. Pretty much anyone who rides a bike in Melbourne will have had a pedestrian walk in front of them without looking at one time or another. The difference in this case is that this man was killed crossing with the 'green man' at pedestrian lights, by a 'peleton' of 200+ unofficially organised amateur riders that were either unable, or unwilling to break the bunch and stop in time. I can't help but think that bike/car relations in Melbourne are reaching some sort of crisis point. My daily ride to and from work, mainly along bike-friendly back streets, attracts abuse from motorists (and pedestrians) probably once a week on average. People hate bike riders. As a cyclist, the contempt with which I am treated by those in cars and pedestrians is really quite confronting. A short ride is enough...

I am constantly astounded by the Federal Government's ability to repeatedly enrage me. Every day it seems a new policy is announced , or a decision is made , or a decision is avoided , or a dog whistle blown . It's like they have planted little spylets in my brain and they have a whole army of men in white coats analysing the data that flows forth to develop policy that will most effectively piss me off. But despite the astonishingly long list of badness, this is among the most insane and appalling acts this government has pulled. Why there is not more outrage in the community is a reflection of how effectively Howard and his repulsive right-wing cronies are changing the way Australians think about themselves. That despite being tried and acquitted by the justice system of Australia, Phillip Ruddock can have Jack Thomas placed under house arrest, is surely one of the most extreme interventionist and obstructionist government actions ever undertaken in this country. The ...

The work I do is kind of seasonal. In other words, we have periods when it gets mentally busy (as in really busy, not really thinky) and other times when there's not so much to do. We are currently in the not so much to do period. Essentially, at the moment if I want to do something, I need to pretty much make it up. I suspect it's a bit like being a Management Consultant: Management Consultant 1: "Hmm, what are we going to do today?" Management Consultant 2: "I know, let's just make something up because I have no idea what a Management Consultant is." Management Consultant 3: "Great brainstorming team. Make sure you bill this session as a half-hour block." You get the drift. Consequences of having nothing to do: Boredom Laziness Increased blogging Decreased motivation Etc. It's not an enormous surprise then that this is the time most people at my work choose to take leave. I LOVE leave. So much so that I treasure it like a pirat...

Sydney peoples. Liz Stringer will be heading your way very shortly to play a couple of gigs @Newtown (that's not me being trendy and "down with the youth", that's the name of the venue). Friday week, 8 September with the very attractive and extremely energetic Carus and the Aussie man with the voice ripped straight out of the Mississippi delta Goodrem , Ash Grunwald . Then backing it up with another show at the same venue two weeks later with the unjustly spunky and quite lesbianic Canadian hotness Ember Swift on Friday 22 September. You should go. It will be good.

And while I'm at it and given it is, after all, a Friday, here is the latest instalment of the segment I like to call Friday's Random Interweb Video. First an absolute delight. Those of you who are regular readers of Ms Fits will recognise this from a couple of weeks back, but I was reminded of it during the week by the lovely Helen from Grace and Fervour . The boys are from a Swedish band called " OkGo " and the clip - just awesome. And coming up second is a random video in the truest sense of the word. There's just something about the Japanese and their penchant for public pain and humiliation. If anyone knows WTF is going on in this, I'd love to know. And now I really must go back to work.

Yet another shooting spree in a US school. "A gunman in the US shot five people today, killing two of them, in a rampage through two houses and an elementary school in Vermont that ended when he wounded himself, police said." This is why, according to the NRA , private citizens need to be armed. Between 2 February 1996 and 8 November 2005 alone, there were 40 instances of school shootings in the US. It appears to be a serious problem. When these shootings occur, how often do we hear that the siege ends when the perpetrator turns the gun on them self, or that they were disarmed by police? And how often do you hear of private citizens coming to the rescue with their NRA approved weapons? Of course I don't have these figures at my disposal, but I feel fairly confident in arguing that far more damage has been done by those who own firearms and choose to go on rampages through schools than lives saved by self-appointed civilian militias. Surely the only way forward is to...

This email was forwarded by a dear friend who works in the banking sector in Sydney. Helloooo dear friend!! Apparently this invitation has done the rounds of all the banks. Dear. God. Names and dates have been altered. Dear Friends, Thank you for all your replies and I am glad all of you can come to celebrate my 21st with me. Please read ALL the following to ensure your entry into the Ritz. Katie's 21st Birthday Party at The Ritz Hotel London Friday, 23th of September 9pm Champagne Reception 10pm Photo Shoots 10:30pm Blowing Candles Mid-night Pangaea, Mayfair I have arranged the Ritz to host a Champagne Reception with a selection of Ritz Champagne for all my guests, this will be on me so please come and indulge. A specially made birthday cake has also been ordered and the Ritz waiters will kindly serve you each a generous slice with Ritz cutleries, etc...also on me. INSTRUCTIONS FOR ENTRY: * When you arrive, take the Hotel entry on the opposite side of the Green Park tube ...

No one ever comes to my work on a Friday. In an area that can hold 16 people, today we have 3. That's right, 3. So, to while away the hours here are some amusements for me you: Ze Frank on the perils of flight The Sydney Morning Herald online most read articles from yesterday afternoon - sent to me by Snooze... It's a little tricky to read, but it says: "Tom, you're dumped" And as the final irrefutable nail in the coffin of Virginia 's-kitten-is-cuter-than- our Snooze's-Mum's-dog, otherwise known as the Cuteness War , I present "Puppy Playing With Football". Thankyou linesfolk, thankyou ballpeople, I believe that would be Game, Set and Match.

I was just editing a long and interesting post about various items when freakin Safari crashed. Mothafukka. So instead... Do we think Nelly Furtado is trying to suggest something with her new album, Loose ? Track names include Maneater , Promiscuous and Do it . However, lest we tar Nelly with the 'slut' brush, she's tempered it nicely with In God's Hands . I wonder if God's happy to have a loose, promiscuous, maneater 'in his hands'...?

This is a record. Four posts in one day - work is very quiet at the moment. But really. Oh. My. God. [link broken] (Via Boing Boing ) UPDATE: As Virginia has pointed out in the comments, this article about why you shouldn't marry career women has been pulled from the Forbes website. Fortunately, the text has been captured by other quick-thinking bloggers . Enjoy!

I've just been flipping through the Hearld Sun with my usual feelings of amusement/disgust and I came upon the daily readers' poll. The question in today's paper was: "Do you support the idea of 6 months of daylight savings?" Now I haven't actually heard all that much about this, but Steve Bracks has suggested that the Eastern seaboard should extend the period of daylight savings by a few weeks at each end. This is not an issue I would have thought would be of great concern to anyone and if I had to guess, I'd say that on the whole, most people would be interested in the proposal, except perhaps Queenslanders concerned that it might fade their curtains. But of 1,890 votes, 27.1% were in favour and 72.9% were against it. WTF!? Why do people hate daylight saving so much?

Dude. The war in Iraq has lasted longer than US involvement in World War II. Not that comparisons to WWII are even mildly relevant, but it does make you think.

The delightful musings of Heather from Dooce alerted me to this phrase this morning, courtesy of a very funny blog, Que Sera Sera . "...bershon is pretty much how you feel when you're 13 and your parents make you wear a Christmas sweatshirt and then pose for a family picture, and you could not possibly summon one more ounce of disgust, but you're also way too cool to really even DEAL with it, so you just make this face like you smelled something bad and sort of roll your eyes and seethe in a put-out manner. Kelly Taylor from Beverly Hills, 90210 is the patron saint of bershon, as her face, like most other teenagers', was permanently frozen in this expression." Heh. 90210. UPDATE: Sarah from Que Sera Sera has posted a photo of her teenage self demonstrating "bershon" . Gold.

I've just noticed that the Herald Sun has open comments on all the leading news stories. How very egalitarian of them...

One of the more fascinating social developments that have occurred since September 11, 2001 has been the way vocabulary has been pushed and prodded to create a language that clearly delineates whose "side" you're on. With growing polarisation between the politically left and right has come new terminology, a new set of " weasel words ". Previously, "baddies" were tainted with the "ism" suffix: Communism, Nazism, terrorism, fascism etc. Curiously however, the new fad when it comes to calling someone something unpleasant, is the use of the suffix "ist". The 'ist' is used almost exclusively by the right to indicate the intrinsic badness of whatever unfortunate subject comes under their disapproving gaze. To use "ist" at the end of a word automatically taints the subject. Not only that, but it is employed to create pseudo-politically-correct " dog-whistle " statements, instantly identifiable by those of ...

I find it difficult to believe that this is actually for real, but if it is, it's freakin' gold.

Ha. It's incredibly juvenile but that's why it's so gold. The boys from The Chaser have got themselves into trouble again, this time for booking airline tickets with dodgy names. "The satirical show's executive producer, Julian Morrow, said two tickets were booked online under the names "Mr Al Kyder" and "Mr Terry Wrist" for an 8.30am Virgin Blue flight from Sydney to Melbourne." They carefully avoided picking up their tickets, forcing the Virgin staff to make an announcement over the airport PA. "Good morning ladies and gentleman," the announcement said. "This is the final boarding call for [name withheld], [name withheld], Al Kyder, [name withheld], and Terry Wrist, all travelling to Melbourne today on Virgin Blue flight 822." And in a perfect demonstration of completely missing the point, the Virgin spokesperson, Amanda Bolger, had this response: "The Chaser guys could do well with using spell check. Using names...

This is very cool.

Yay!! It's Friday's Random Interweb Video time. Hoorah! Hooray! OK, enough of the shouting - it hurts my hungover head. WHY CAN'T I DRINK TO EXCESS WITH NO CONSEQUENCES ANY MORE!!?? IT'S JUST NOT FAIR!! Anyhoo, I will cease trying to illicit completely unjustified pity and present the following morsels for your Friday asses. Firstly, a clip that did the rounds a while ago and may well be familiar, but it really is amazing and if not visually fascinating, sounds just wonderful. And now some completely random Japanese shenanigans. The folks at Dooce enjoyed this so much, they replicated it . Please note - I don't condone such behaviour...but it is kind of amusing in a cruel way. At least the puppy wins in the end.

I am currently in the process of becoming a year older than I was previously. While I spend most of my time becoming a year older than I was previously, it doesn't generally worry me a great deal. I'm still relatively young after all. But my next birthday will see me leap youthfully into my fourth decade, leaving behind me the dregs of my twenties to embrace older-agedom. Now this in itself does not concern me, I'm quite looking forward to being a grown-up, but what I don't like is this business about being forced to take out private health insurance. I was only vaguely aware that something like this existed (I wasn't yet thirty after all), but now I am approaching said age, I have started to poke around to find out (in the words of Marvin Gaye) what's going on. Needless to say, I don't like it. Not at all. I'm a bolshie bastard. I was brought up by my parents to believe that the primary role of Government is to support the community that funds a...

Apparently "almost 600,000 Australians completed their census online." I was intending to, but Snooze has some strange fetish for filling in hard-copy forms, so we spent the evening cheerfully writing things down only to have to cross them out when we put the wrong stuff in the wrong boxes. Still. When the pleasant Scando Census Lady came round on the weekend to collect our form, she asked me if we had filled it out online as I had promised her we would. Somewhat shamefacedly I had to admit that, no we hadn't done it online because of my ladyfriend's somewhat odd preoccupation with paper and pens. However. When I mentioned that we hadn't done it online, Scando Census Lady quickly mentioned that apparently LOTS of people had promised to do it online, but had given up because the connection speed was so slow. I find this somewhat fascinating given that the Federal Government, the people who actually, you know, run the census and stuff, had just declared that there...

In the tawdry world of pop music, high ideals and quality musicianship can often be trampled underfoot in the stampede to jump on the latest, digitally-perfected 'talent', the newest and most marketable teen sensation, the next Britney or Beyonce, West Life or Back Street Boys. It's an industry dominated by big-money studios, profit-grabbing producers and easily-exploited fame whores. But every now and then, a ray of sunshine breaks through the ever present clouds. An act so powerful and original, so youthfully exuberant and with such musical integrity, that even the most hardened cynics can but watch in awe. I speak of course of the hard-hitting trio from Melbourne's western suburbs, the Werribee boys made huge, the devastatingly handsome, the silken-voiced and irrepressibly talented Boyz . Yes, Jaxson, Alex and Dean are the real deal people. Playing to packed houses from Taylors Lakes to Craigieburn this fearsome trio have been slaying tweenage girls all over this f...

What did you do on the weekend? I spent my weekend here . Sitting in the sun, watching the view, drinking, eating and making merry. All in all, a very pleasant way to pass the time. But the highlight of the weekend was not the warm weather, nor was it the blossoming wattles. The highlight of the weekend was an onslaught of cuteness, rarely witnessed and even more rarely survived. Can you handle it? CAN YOU!!?? ... ... TAKE THIS! Haha! AND THIS!! Had enough?? Is that begging for mercy I hear? Then take this! And this!! OK, enough. That, ladies and gentlemen, is Snooze's Mum's new puppy. Cute much? If you are still alive, the CSIRO would be very interested to hear from you.

It's Friday again. The last few weeks really have been moving very quickly. As usual, a Friday afternoon finds me glaze-eyed, staring into the space somewhere between my nose and my computer screen. I can stay like this for hours, and only some form of physical violence (eg banging my head against a wall) can snap me out of it. As such, and as I attempt to be a 'good blogger' in the non-biblical sense of the word, I shall hereby take advantage of my laziness and establish a Friday-afternoon-filling-regular-posting-habit-thing a la Ms Fits and Mr Lefty (started last week with this particular piece of brilliance) that I shall call, "Friday's random interweb video" or FRIV. And just to get you all in the mood, here's two!! The first I fear most of you will be familiar with because I insist on showing this to anyone who comes within three feet of me, the second is just... well... I love Jon Stewart. Enjoy. Boone Passes OUT on Vimeo

It's Thursday night, it's cold outside, but inside the heater's on and there's steak from the local Butcher about to go on for dinner. We're sitting on the new couch, Snooze is finishing off the crossword and we are listening to... Pirates of Penzance on vinyl. That's right. Pirates of Penzance. Vinyl. And I love it.

I'm not sure about you, but I have a creeping feeling of smugness about events taking place in Australia at the moment. Call it schadenfreude , or just good old-fashioned leftist hating, but I can't help but feel things are starting to swing our way , or at least in the right direction. I can't say I feel sorry for those who are in debt to their eyeballs, who drive enormous and completely ridiculous cars around and are principally responsible for ignoring the various deceipts heaped upon us by the Howard Government, voting them in with the infuriating slogan "if it ain't broke, don't fix it". These are people who vote with their wallets and petrol tanks. Here's a slogan people should try: "if you can't afford it, don't buy it". The Federal government has spent the last ten years encouraging people into debt. Figures show that while interest rates are nowhere near the 17% of the early 90's, the ratio of household debt to di...

Dean Jones is an idiot .

Those who live in the vicinity of Carlton in Melbourne may be familiar with a little independent video hire place on Faraday St, just down from Brunetti called Video Dogs . It's a nice idea. A couple of small dark rooms packed to the rafters with videos and DVDs, away from the white fluorescent light and rampant commercialism of Blockbuster, a potential sanctuary from the cold Melbourne winter outside. One of the only video hire places in the area, they attract the locals - students, yuppies, retirees - they're on a pretty good wicket as far as captive audiences go. They've got a great range and their prices are reasonable. The only problem is that they are a pack of cunts. I apologise to my more delicate readers, but you haven't met surly, disinterested, morally-superior service until you've had the joy of trying to deal with these people. I've lived in the Carlton area for over five years and given the monopoly this place has on location and convenience, I ...

Well now, why does this not come as a surprise. Apparently, Floridians are going through the same sort of history wars, thanks to more Conservative drum beating. Sound familiar?

This is what Itemisation looks like to people using Internet Explorer. I knew it didn't look right, but THAT is atrocious. For those of you who can only view it that way, my most sincere apologies. This is how the rest of the decent browser users us see it. It really makes me appreciate Virginia 's work. *sigh* I suppose I shall have to revisit this template after all...

A particularly whiney opinion piece in today's paper from John Roskam on the History Summit, that pretty much sums up the Conservative standpoint and confirms my suspicions from the previous post. First of all, John Roskam is not an academic, he is not a teacher. He is the Executive Director of the Institute of Public Affairs , Australia's self-proclaimed "Leading Free Market Think Tank". His biography on the site reads as follows: "Before joining the IPA, he was the Executive Director of The Menzies Research Centre in Canberra. He has also held positions as Chief of Staff to Dr David Kemp, the Federal Minister for Employment, Education, Training and Youth Affairs, as Senior Advisor to Don Hayward, Victorian Minister for Education in the first Kennett Government, and as Manager of Government and Corporate Affairs for Rio Tinto. His policy analysis includes reports such as Australia's Education Choices (with Professor Brian Caldwell) and The Protocol: Managi...

On Thursday 17 August, a group of academics, social commentators and politicians will meet in Canberra to partake in the Australian History Summit . The brainchild of our noble leader, John Winston Howard, the purpose of the Summit is on the face of things, to discuss the state of history teaching in Australia and to determine a single cohesive approach. There has been a great deal written on this already and I would assume this will only increase as the date draws nearer, which frankly can only be a good thing. History is nearly always considered, somewhat ironically, as a dusty relic of yesteryear's academic disciplines, no longer relevant or interesting to the 21st century's young minds, so to see it gain public attention in such a way is at least a step in the right direction. However, as others have mentioned previously, it is difficult to wonder if there is not something more behind this than first meets the eye. My own experiences of history at school fall into two ca...

Today's Sunday Age reports: "ASTRONOMERS want to build a 42-metre telescope that could reveal whether life exists anywhere else in the cosmos. The [telescope] being proposed by scientists from a consortium of European countries based at the Cerro Paranal observatory in Chile's Atacama desert will dwarf anything astronomers use today. It could be used to tackle mysteries such as what the first objects in the universe were." Unlike the orbital Hubble telescope , the new device will be placed somewhere improbably remote on earth. Suggestions have included Tibet, Chile, Greenland or a 3000-metre plateau in Antarctica intriguingly named "Dome C". Its purpose is to detect life on other planets within the cosmos, peering far beyond the limits to which astronomers are currently bound. It is a noble undertaking, a project and concept that has the potential to reveal ever more astonishing secrets of the universe and as such deserves a suitably impressive name. With...

I have a confession to make. I love watching Funniest Home Videos. The key though is to do so with the sound off. Seriously, try it. This however, is purely for the sheer brilliance of cats doing funny things. Ladies and Gentlemen, Itemisation, in conjunction with You Tube and our coporate partners, is proud to present the following production. Please enjoy. Funny Cats

Who can be bothered posting on a Friday? Well, I kind of am, but only in a lazy way. If you want some funny reading, have a look at this post by Tim Sterne of Sternezine - particularly the comments. These are the leaders of tomorrow. PS - I've had some reports that this new layout looks really weird in some browsers. Personally methinks Allen & Unwin just need to update their freakin software, but still...anyone else having difficulties?

Those of you in Melbourne over the last couple of weeks will be familiar with how freakin cold some of our mornings have been. I took this photo of ice on my car the Friday before last when the temperature was 0.7 degrees. Overnight it got down to 0.5 That's pretty chilly for inner city Melbourne. But cold as it is, I can't say I really want to be in the States right now like various friends , because the heat there is horrific. Hope your still alive Stitzy! I love it when it's cold.

During the 18th and 19th centuries, England had a few issues with overcrowding in their prison system and set about ways to rectify the problem. Among a number of inventive practices, of which deportation to the colonies was a favourite, the idea of coverting old ships to floating jails became fashionable. This was a period in which the concept of crime and punishment was being explored. A popular topic of conversation among the highly educated, dramatic changes were starting to occur as it became evident that imprisonment was as much a punishment in itself as flogging, banishment, torture or any of the ways criminals were dealt with in the past. Jeremy Bentham, a prominent British philosopher developed the concept of the Panopticon , a new type of prison in which inmates would be housed in separate booths, unable to see each other, but under constant supervision by prison staff. Hulks were a response to this new form punishment as prisons became overcrowded. Their masts lopped o...

Being new to the blogging game insomuch as only recently getting one, yet having been a blog stalker for many years, this study about the habits of bloggers is kind of interesting. What do you mean "must be a slow day at work".

Snooze is quite unwell at the moment. Seems to be some sort of flu thing, not entirely sure, but she's not very happy in the world. When someone close to me gets sick, it makes me realise how effectively useless I am. Oh, I'm quite happy to flap around and make disparaging comments about not taking sick days when one is sick, or produce hot lemon and honey drinks and the like, but when push comes to shove, I'm not really any help at all. I can do comfort, but I can't do help. This doesn't really come as an enormous shock. I'm an Arts graduate with a good musical ear and a penchant for bureaucratic orderliness - not an emergency doctor, or a chemist or anything remotely useful in that sense. I am certainly not alone in lacking two handy sticks to rub together. It may be considered uncharitable, but not completely inaccurate to say that the majority of my friends fall into the same category, with some notable exceptions . So what happens when stuff goes wron...

I think this new look is pretty damn hott if I do say so myself.